My new cat Anna
by MattheJ1
Summary: There's something odd about Elsa's new cat - namely, she looks like a human, at least to Elsa. Similar premise to the TV show Wilfred. Modern AU, Belsa. Warning: Deals with themes of depression and suicide.
1. Chapter 1: An Unexpected Guest

My new cat Anna

**Chapter one**

**An unexpected guest**

The rain poured down outside. Not that Elsa particularly cared.

Oh, it sounded like an impressive enough storm, all right. The apartment creaked in the wind, and the sound of the rain against the roof was loud enough. It was simply of no concern to her.

Elsa stared at her phone with half-closed eyes, idly scrolling through her feed. Various images and memes flew by, with her briefly registering each one's presence before scrolling to the next. Old jokes retold for the fifteenth time, someone's travel photos, jokes about some celebrity scandal – all taking up space in her mind for a couple seconds, then vanishing off the top of her screen.

She heard her stomach growl. Had she missed lunch? She checked the time on her phone.

4:30

Ah. Yes, then.

Briefly, she considered boiling the water necessary for ramen, then decided to pass. Microwave macaroni it was.

_Knock knock knock_

Elsa turned towards the door. This was unusual – she never had anyone knocking at her door. She wasn't expecting any packages, so who would go out in this weather just to knock on her door?

_Knock knock knock_

"All right, I'm coming," she called at the door. Whoever they were, she wasn't going to make them stand out in the rain.

She threw off her covers and looked down at her attire – a gray tank top and panties, the same ones she had been wearing yesterday. She considered throwing on something else.

_Nah, _she thought._ Maybe when they see you answer the door like this, they'll just leave._

Elsa considered the evening ahead of her. After she dealt with whoever was at the door, she'd make that macaroni, and she wasn't going to eat it in bed, not again. She booted up her computer before exiting the bedroom. If she was out of bed, she might as well be on the computer instead of her phone.

As she shuffled towards the door, rubbing her eyes, she considered a few oddities. Firstly, her apartment had a doorbell, yet the person had knocked. Also, they had knocked rather softly, as if they hadn't used their knuckles.

It was a good thing her ears had stopped ringing at this point, or else she might not have heard it at all. She had really been blindsided by that.

_What, are you seriously complaining about that?_

"Yes, I am," she muttered to herself as she reached the door, peering through the peephole. "They warn you about all the other stuff, there's no reason not to-"

She stopped abruptly. She stared though her peephole, not believing what she was seeing. She opened the door and confirmed it.

A cute, redheaded girl was standing on the doorstep, shivering in the rain. She was wearing cat ears.

"Hello," the girl said in a trembling voice.

Elsa didn't respond. She stared, wide-eyed, at the girl, who she now noticed also had a tail.

"Can I come in?" the girl asked. "It's cold out here."

Elsa shook herself out of her trance. "Uh, y-yes. Of course!" She stepped to the side.

The girl perked up immediately. "Thank you!" she said, running inside. Elsa could've sworn she saw her ears prick up.

Once inside, the girl stood in the middle of Elsa's living room and shook herself, sending water droplets all around the room. Elsa didn't notice, as her eyes were still wide and locked on the girl.

The girl turned to her now and smiled widely. "Hi!" she said energetically. "I'm Anna!"

"Uh," Elsa said, "Hi, Anna. My name is Elsa. Elsa Vanderijst."

Anna tilted her head to one side. "Van…da…rees…" she said uncertainly. "Van…duh…"

"Just Elsa is fine," Elsa said. "So, Anna, where do you live?"

Anna's smile faded, and her head drooped. "Nowhere," she said sadly. "I'm a stray cat."

"Uh…" Elsa repeated.

_Nice job, Elsa. You just let a crazy person into your house._

"Okay, Anna," she said, digging out her phone. "Tell me a little about yourself."

Anna perked up again. "Well, my name is Anna, and I'm a tabby cat. I like warm hugs and head scratches. My favorite food is milk, and I love sleeping all day long!"

Elsa snapped a photo of her. "Well, we agree on that last one, at least."

She posted the picture to Facebook, with the caption: _Does anyone know who this girl is?_

"So, Anna, why don't you have a seat?" she said, gesturing at the couch.

"Okay!" Anna said. She ran over to the couch, hopped onto it, and perched herself in a squat on all fours.

"Yeah, make yourself comfortable," Elsa said distractedly. She opened her browser and started to search for the phone number of her town's police station. Before she found it, however, her phone buzzed with a notification – someone had already responded to her Facebook post. She switched over to the app – and then stared at her screen, puzzled.

**Aurora Finsen** "Aw, what a cutie pie!"

Elsa scratched her head. This made no sense. Aurora was straight as a board, why would she say something like that?

Before she could ponder it further, another comment popped up.

**Jaz Din **"If she doesn't have any tags, I guess she's yours!"

Tags? What was she – wait a second.

"Stay right there," she said to Anna, making a dash for the bathroom. She flung open the door to the bathroom closet and fished around in the clutter. Eventually, she found what she was looking for and yanked it out.

She was half hoping that she would return to an empty living room, but no, Anna was still there, perched happily on the sofa. She was attempting to scratch her neck with her left foot and, more surprisingly still, succeeding.

Elsa put the scale on the floor. "Stand on this, please," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

Anna dutifully stepped onto the scale. The needle barely moved.

Elsa stared at the scale. _8 pounds? Impossible!_

She motioned for Anna to step off, then stood on the scale herself.

_115 pounds. It's accurate._

"Are you okay?" Anna asked timidly. "You look a little worried."

"I'm fine, Anna, I'm just…" She trailed off, unsure how to finish her sentence.

She looked down at the floor, and noticed something else. There were wet prints on the carpet, leading from the front door to the sofa, then to the scale. They were pawprints. A cat's pawprints. She looked at Anna's feet. They looked very much human.

She closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. When she opened them again, she tried to assume a neutral look on her face.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't really introduce myself fully, did I? My name is Elsa, and apparently I'm a _fucking lunatic!_"


	2. Chapter 2: Second Opinion

**Chapter two**

**Second opinion**

_So she really looks like a human to you?_

_Yes – mostly human, anyway._

_Well, the picture you sent me was definitely a picture of a cat._

_So, in other words, I'm crazy._

_I didn't say that._

_What other explanation could there be?_

There was a slightly longer pause between texts this time.

_Hmm. Maybe it has something to do with stress?_

_Kris, you know me. I've got absolutely nothing stressful going on in my life right now._

_Maybe it's pent-up frustration over a long-lost ex._

_I only have one ex, and she's not a redhead._

_It could be sexual frustration. You did say she looks cute to you, right?_

_I relieve my sexual frustrations every day._

_Okay, TMI._

_You brought it up._

_Anyway, the only other explanation I can think of is that it's a side effect of some massive psychological event that happened in your life recently. Did anything big happen to you recently?_

The voice popped up in her head again. _Well, there was that one thing-_

_No, nothing like that._

The voice came back, disapproving this time. _Oh, so we're lying to him now? Cool._

Elsa ignored it and focused on Kristoff's latest text.

_Well, then I can't think of any explanation for it._

_What am I going to do?_

_I don't know. Buy some tuna._

_Kristoff, this is serious!_

_Is it serious? Because it sounds to me like you just got a cat, and an imaginary friend. That's all. A lot of folks would consider that a dream come true._

_I've never had imaginary friends, and I don't even want a cat right now._

_Fine, then are you going to take her to a shelter?_

Elsa thought about it for a while.

_No. It'd be one thing if she was just a normal cat, but…if I'm really the only person in the world who can understand her, then I feel like I can't just abandon her. Do you know what I mean?_

_I guess. So how much do you know about owning a cat, anyway?_

_Enough. My mom had a cat when I was growing up._

_Then you should be good, at least for a while. Take care of her for a couple weeks, then if you decide it's too much work, put out an ad online. I'm sure there's plenty of people out there that would be happy to own a normal, non-talking cat._

_Okay, I guess I'll do that. Thanks for the advice, Kris. You're the best._

_If you say so._

Elsa set down her phone, then turned to look at Anna. She was still sitting in the same spot, just staring at her.

"What are you doing?" Elsa asked.

"I was just waiting for you to finish doing whatever you were doing," Anna replied.

"Oh, sorry. I was just talking to my friend, Kristoff."

"Oh." Anna looked at the phone, puzzled. Then she leaned over and pointed her head towards it. "HELLO, KRISTOFF!" she shouted. "MY NAME IS ANNA!"

Elsa put her hand to her head. "No, not literally talking to him. I was texting him, over the phone." She tapped the screen, pulled up her keyboard and typed demonstratively. "See?"

Anna looked at the screen with a blank expression. "I can't read," she said after a while.

"Well, just take my word for it."

"What is that thing? I see a lot of people walking around outside, looking at those things and touching them…"

"It's a phone. You can talk to people with them, text them, browse the internet-"

"Internet?"

Elsa sighed. "Jesus, are you a cat or a questionnaire?"

Anna looked stumped. "A cat…I think. I don't know what a-"

"Aren't you hungry?" Elsa interrupted.

Anna shifted gears instantly. "Yes! I'm very hungry! I forgot because I was so curious!"

"Okay, I'll get you something to eat," Elsa said, relieved at the chance to stop the conversation.

_Jesus. If I wanted to talk this much, I'd make human friends!_

xxxxxxx

Anna silently devoured her bowl of Lucky Charms, her head down in the bowl. Elsa watched, eating her in dinner while leaning against the counter.

She was standing on the table. That was Elsa's fault. Thinking like a human, she had put the bowl onto the table instead of the floor, and Anna had hopped right onto it before she could say a word. Still, she hadn't knocked anything over, and the table seemed to be in agreement with the scale about her weight.

Elsa closed her eyes and tried to picture a red-haired tabby cat standing on her dining table. She imagined a perfectly normal cat. She opened her eyes. Anna was still on the table, looking just as human as before.

_If she's a figment of my imagination, shouldn't I be able to imagine her as a normal cat? God damn it, I don't know how any of this works!_

Anna lifted her head from the bowl. "That was yummy!" she declared. "So sweet!"

Elsa put down her macaroni cup and walked towards the table. "Yeah, well, don't get used to it. I'll buy some real cat food tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure they don't add…"

She inspected the bowl. Anna had eaten all the brown pieces, but left the marshmallows. Elsa looked at her.

"I didn't eat the colored ones," Anna said. "I tried one, but it tasted funny." She looked down. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, of course not," Elsa said quickly. "It just surprised me, that's all."

This seemed to satisfy Anna, as she perked up again. Elsa was glad; when she smiled, it was almost like a ray of sunshine. Elsa looked at the bowl again. She reached her hand into the bowl, grabbed a handful of the marshmallows, and shoveled them into her mouth. A few crumbs fell out of her mouth and landed on the carpet.

"You dropped some," Anna said helpfully.

Elsa swallowed. "It's okay. I'll pick it up later," she lied.

This seemed to satisfy her. She sat silently and watched Elsa eat. Elsa realized she was chewing with her mouth open and promptly closed it.

"So," she said eventually, "I've decided to let you stay here, at least for a little while."

Anna jumped with joy. "Really? Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"But," said Elsa, holding up a finger, "we need to discuss some ground rules."

Anna tilted her head. "Like what?"

"First, I've had a cat before, so I know what cats do. Cats vomit."

"Yes, we do."

"I'm not going to tell you not to vomit because I know it doesn't work like that. But if you have to vomit, do it in the kitchen, where it's easier to clean up."

Anna nodded. "Okay, I'll try."

"Second. You are not, under any circumstances, allowed to open any of my dresser drawers. Understood?"

Anna's brow furrowed. "But I can't open any drawers. I don't have any thumbs."

Elsa instantly felt like a moron. "Oh. Of course."

Anna thought for a moment. "What's in your-"

"Never mind," Elsa snapped. "I don't want you to open them, and that's all you need to know."

Anna's ears drooped. "I'm sorry," she said meekly.

_Great. Now you're an idiot and an asshole._

"It's okay," Elsa said. "I overreacted, I'm sorry."

Anna nodded, but she still looked sad.

"So, uh, third," Elsa said, trying to change the subject. "The door."

"The door?"

"My old cat used to run for the door whenever anyone showed up at the house. As soon as the door opened, he'd make a run for it."

Anna tilted her head again. "Did he not like staying with you?"

"No, he did," Elsa said. But he just wanted to run around outside, I guess. I don't know for sure. The important thing is, if that door opens, I need you to promise me that you won't try to run out the door. I don't need to deal with running around outside, trying to catch you."

"I won't! Promise!" Anna said energetically. "I'll stay here with you forever!"

_Pretty sure I just said, "for a little while," but whatever, I guess_.

"All right," Elsa said. "That's everything I can think of right now. Welcome to my house, Anna."

Anna beamed. "Yay!" Then, before Elsa could react, she bounded forward and leapt at Elsa, wrapping her arms around her. Elsa wasn't hurt – god, she was so light! – but it caught her off-guard nonetheless.

"Thank you so much," Anna said. "I'll be the best cat ever, I promise."

It had been quite a while since Elsa had been in a hug. She had forgotten how good it felt. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Then she thought of tomorrow, and what she'd have to do. She'd have to pick up some real cat food, and a litterbox, and maybe some toys, and probably a bunch of other stuff too.

_Outside. Shopping. People._

_Great._


	3. Chapter 3: Same as usual

**Chapter three**

**Same as usual**

The next morning played out relatively normally. Elsa had been forward-thinking enough to leave out a second bowl of cereal before going to bed, so her sleep had not been cut short by a hungry cat mewling for food. Thus, when she eventually did get out of bed, she was about to prepare for the day's errands uninterrupted. The shower felt nice, as it often did when she had foregone one for a few days, and her hair was easily coaxed into its braid.

As she exited the bathroom, wearing a towel, she peeked into the living room. Anna was sleeping on the couch, curled up in a ball. The sight was almost as cute as an actual cat would've been.

Elsa shook her head. _God, I need a girlfriend._

Getting dressed didn't take long. Her trusty blue t-shirt was relatively clean, and she always had at least one clean pair of jeans.

As she got dressed, a thought occurred to her. She went back to the living room and looked at Anna. Currently, she still appeared to be 'wearing' the same outfit as she had the previous night – a green jacket, plaid shirt, and denim shorts.

_I definitely should be able to control this, right?_

Elsa closed her eyes and pictured Anna in the same outfit she herself was wearing. When she opened her eyes again, sure enough, Anna was now wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans. She closed her eyes again and visualized her in a black skirt and yellow blouse. She opened her eyes again, and it was so.

_Okay, so that part is just in my head. That's…good? I think?_

Then, unbidden, another thought entered her head.

_Of course, technically, she isn't wearing anything at all. So you should really picture her completely na-_

Elsa squeezed her eyes shut. _No no no no no, this is weird enough already, do not picture her naked, do not-_

_Ding dong_

The doorbell mercifully snapped her back to reality. When she opened her eyes, Anna was back to her original outfit.

Anna's eyes opened as well. She leapt off the couch and made a dash for the door. "There's someone at the door!" she said excitedly.

She parked herself in front of the door and peeked under the crack. "He has…brown shoes," she announced. "And…a box! A really big box!" She turned to Elsa. "Do you think he'd let me play in his box?"

Elsa folded her arms. "Maybe," she said. "If you let me open the door, I could ask him."

"Oh. Sorry!" Anna dutifully stepped away from the door.

Elsa opened the door, revealing a UPS delivery man. He was holding a clipboard in his hand, which he now looked at.

"Package for Miss Van…Van De-"

"Yes, that's me," Elsa said, cutting him off. She glanced down at his shoes. They were indeed brown.

_So she knew the color of his shoes before I even saw them. So that means…what?_

The man held out his clipboard. "I just need your signature here," he said, smiling.

_Fuck, I don't know. It means he has brown shoes._

She took the board from him and scrawled a looping line that marginally resembled her name.

"Quite a storm last night, wasn't it?" the man said brightly.

Elsa groaned internally. _Oh, great, he wants to make small talk._ "Yes, it was," she responded.

"It was terrible!" Anna chimed in. "I thought I was gonna drown!"

The man turned his head towards Anna. "Well, hello to you too, kitty!" he said.

Elsa handed him the clipboard back. "Here you go," she said.

"Thanks for the box, mister!" Anna said. "It's a real big one!"

"Thank you," Elsa added.

"You're quite welcome, miss," the man said. He bent down and scratched Anna on the head. "She's quite talkative, isn't she?"

"Yes," Elsa said dully. "_She_ is."

Thankfully, he took the hint. He turned around and walked back to his truck. "Have a nice day," he said as he left.

Anna waved at him. "You too, mister!"

"Yeah, you too," Elsa mumbled, in a volume he couldn't have possibly heard.

_Great job, ice queen,_ the voice in her head sneered. _And how is it that you're still single?_

She ignored it, as usual. Motioning for Anna to back away, she grabbed the box and heaved, slowly dragging it into the house. It was extremely heavy, and it sounded like there were a bunch of small objects inside.

She glanced at the return address. It didn't really surprise her.

_Figures. She's the only one who sends me shit to begin with. But what could all this be?_

Anna was bouncing up and down in excitement. "Open it! Open it!" she pleaded.

"Okay, keep your pants on," Elsa said, pulling out her pocketknife.

Anna tilted her head. "But I don't wear pants."

_Don't picture that,_ she thought to herself. At this point, though, her attention was focused on the box.

"It's a metaphor," she said as she cut through the tape and opened the flaps. "I'll explain later."

She looked into the box, then stared. _Well, I wasn't expecting that._

Anna peered into the box, and broke into a huge smile. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!" she shouted, running around in circles. "It's full of amazing things!"

Inside the box were two big bags of dry cat food, a litterbox, a collar, a leash, a small but heavy box of cat litter, several assorted cat toys, two different brushes, a food bowl, a water bowl, and a pet carrier. At the top of the stack was an envelope. Elsa opened it up and read the letter inside.

_Dear Elsa,_

_I saw your Facebook post, and I think it's really nice that you took in a stray cat like that! Here's some of Felix's old things that I never got around to throwing away. I figured you'd get more use out of them than me!_

_Love,_

_Mom_

Elsa smiled. She had updated her Facebook post late last night, stating that she intended to keep the cat. Her mother had liked the post, but not commented, which was quite rare for her. Now she knew why.

Anna looked at the letter. "What does it say?" she asked.

"It's from my mother," Elsa explained.

"Oh, your mom sent all this stuff? She must be really nice!"

"Yeah, she is," Elsa said. She pulled out her phone and looked at it.

Anna looked at the phone as well. "Oh, are you going to call her? Make sure to tell her thanks from me!"

Elsa stumbled for a moment. "Huh? Uh, of course," she said.

She had been about to send her mom a thank-you text. It was too early to engage in a conversation, and her mom had a way of talking for what seemed like hours, not to mention her habit of bringing up old scars best left forgotten. She was used to getting texts rather than calls from her, anyway, so she wouldn't feel insulted or anything. But after Anna's remark, for some reason a text seemed woefully inadequate.

_That's because it is. You've been starving your mother for affection these past six months, despite her constantly doing everything in her power to help you._

Elsa twinged with guilt. _Fine. I'll call her._

She dialed the number. Her mother picked up on the second ring.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey, mom," Elsa said.

_"Elsa! So good to hear your voice again!"_ her mom said. _"How are you doing?"_

"Same as usual," she replied dully.

_"So, did the package arrive? Did everything look okay, nothing was broken?"_

"Yes, it's all good. I was just calling to say thank you."

_"You're very welcome, sweetie! I ordered next-day delivery, to make sure it got to you before you bought anything yourself."_

"Well, you saved me a shopping trip, that's for sure," Elsa said.

_"Oh, you'll still have to go to the store for canned food. I didn't find any of that in the closet."_

"Oh. Well, I needed to go shopping anyway."

_"Do you need any money?"_

Elsa gripped the phone a little tighter. "No," she said. "I'm good right now."

_Sure, why not? We're already lying to Kristoff, why not lie to her as well?_

_"Okay, dear. Just let me know if you need anything else."_

Elsa set her jaw. "I will."

Anna jumped up and pawed at Elsa. "Did you tell her thanks from me yet?"

_"Ooh, did I hear your cat?"_

"Yes, that's Anna," Elsa said, glad to change the subject. "She says thanks for all the stuff."

_"Oh, that's a nice name! You're welcome, Anna!"_ she shouted. _"You have a very lovely voice!"_

Elsa smiled at the absurdity of the situation. "She's blushing," she said into the phone.

"I'm not blushing!" Anna said, blushing.

The sound of her mother's melodious laugh came through the phone. _"I'm sorry, Anna!" _she replied. _"I make Elsa blush all the time, too!"_ Elsa couldn't help but chuckle.

Eventually, her laughter subsided. _"Say, Elsa, do you have any plans this weekend?_

"Oh, you know," Elsa said, "same as usual."

She found herself using that phrase a lot when talking to her mom. She knew exactly what it meant, but her mother was free to imagine that it could mean something better.

_"Well, I was thinking, maybe you could come up here for the weekend? It's been a while, after all."_

Elsa's smile faded. She was on guard now. "What for?" she asked cautiously.

_"Oh, this and that,"_ her mom said, now sounding as though she was putting a great deal of effort into sounding casual. _"Catch up on old times, maybe go see a movie together, do some-"_

"Did you have anything specific in mind?" Elsa probed.

There was silence for a moment. _"I'm planning to visit your father."_

Elsa's breath caught. The knuckles on the hand holding her phone turned white. _And there it is._

"Okay," she said curtly. "Good for you."

_"And I was thinking-"_

"No," Elsa cut her off. "I don't have anything to say to him, and I know he doesn't have anything to say to me."

_"Okay, okay,"_ her mom said quickly. Elsa pictured her raising her hands, palms forward in a placative gesture. _"Don't worry about it."_

"I don't plan to."

_"I'm sure you've got a lot on your plate with a new cat,"_ she continued. _"If you ever need some advice, let me know."_

"I will."

_"And remember to give her a scoop of dry food in the morning, half a can of wet food in the evening."_

_She's speaking faster now. She knows I'm about to hang up._ "I'll remember."

_"And a saucer of milk every now and then. I'm sure you're still drinking milk, so it shouldn't be a-"_

"Got it."

_"Okay, thanks for calling, sweetie. Love you."_

"Bye," Elsa said. She hung up.

Her head started hurting. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes and rubbed, groaning. She stepped backwards until she felt the wall behind her, then slid down. She rested her arms on her knees, and her head on her arms.

"How did it go?" Anna asked.

Elsa looked up. "Same as usual."


	4. Chapter 4: Near miss

**Chapter four**

**A near miss**

The shopping cart had a bad wheel. She always got the cart with the bad wheel.

Elsa shoved the cart down the aisle, constantly correcting its course as it tried to veer right. _Or maybe all the carts have one fucked up wheel. Wouldn't surprise me in this place._

She looked up at the aisle number. Aisle 9, the second-last aisle in the Quik-mart. Only the fruits & vegetables aisle was left, which of course she wasn't planning to go down. Had she picked up everything? It was truly impossible to know. Her list, which she had actually bothered writing for once, was currently on her kitchen counter.

_What does it matter. I've got enough food for at least a week, and that's all I need._

She headed for the third checkout lane. As she approached, the large woman behind the counter glanced up from her phone. "Afternoon, Vandries," she said, then looked back to her phone.

Elsa smiled faintly. "Hello, Shawnda," she replied. She pulled the reusable cloth bags her mother had given her out of the cart and placed them on the conveyor belt.

The second bag clunked as it hit the belt. Shawnda raised an eyebrow. She reached into the bag and pulled out a can of cat food. "New cat?" she said.

Elsa felt her face turn red. "Yeah, I went to the pet store before I came here, I must've just forgotten they were in there, I promise I want trying to-"

"I know we don't sell cat food here, dummy," Shawnda said.

Elsa chuckled nervously. "Right, of course."

That was the thing she liked about Shawnda. No matter how awkward she might be when it came to interacting with people, Shawnda didn't give a shit. To be honest, she didn't really give a shit about anything.

Her name was a prime example. Shawnda pronounced her last name in a strange, oddly specific way, so that it rhymed with 'pantries', and flat-out refused to call her by anything else. When pressed, she claimed that she knew two other Elsas, a claim which Elsa seriously doubted. In the end, though, she didn't mind. After spending two decades of listening to people try and fail to pronounce her name correctly, it was almost refreshing to find someone who truly did not care.

"So, this cat got a name?" Shawna asked, scanning the rather paltry collection of groceries Elsa had deposited on the belt.

"Her name is Anna," Elsa said.

Shawnda's eyebrows raised. "Anna?" she said, pronouncing it the way most people would.

"No, it's Anna. Ah-nna."

Shawnda looked at her directly. "Why can't you just pick normal names?" she asked.

"Well, that's her name," Elsa said defensively. Shawnda snorted.

_You know, where I come from, 'Creshawnda' isn't considered a normal name, either!_ She thought, but she didn't press the issue.

Shawnda turned back to the groceries. "Most people I know who have a cat, it drives them crazy pretty fast. I guess you're crazy enough already."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it," Elsa agreed vehemently.

Shawnda deposited the final item in the bag, and she pressed a few keys. "$24.85," she said.

Elsa felt a sinking feeling in her gut. She reached into her wallet and pulled out a twenty, a one, and a few coins.

_Surprise: you're just as poor now as you were last week._

Elsa stared at the money in her hand, then at the groceries in her bag. Shawnda looked at her, expression betraying nothing.

Eventually, Elsa sighed. She grabbed a large can of ravioli out of the bag and set it down on the counter.

Shawnda raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that?"

Elsa understood what she was saying. With the removal of the can, the rest of her purchases looked downright anemic. By the end of the week, she might be down to cereal for dinner, and even that box was already half-empty.

She nodded decisively. "I've got Anna's food already," she said. "That's what's important."

Shawnda looked at her, then scoffed, shaking her head. She tapped on her keyboard, removing the can from the list of items on the screen. Then, with no noticeable change in emotion, she placed the can back into her bag. "$20.74," she said flatly.

Elsa's eyes widened, and her cheeks began to redden. "Oh, Shawnda, you can't-"

"$20.74," Shawnda repeated firmly. "Or do I have to call my manager?"

That tone indicated that she wasn't going to brook any discussion. Elsa handed over the two bills quickly. "Thank you so-"

"26 cents is your change, have a nice day," Shawnda said, looking straight forward.

Elsa grabbed the coins and her bag and hurried away, trying to make herself smaller.

_Parasite,_ hissed the voice. _I'll bet she loses her job for that._

Elsa was pretty sure that wouldn't happen, but that did nothing to ease the guilt and self-loathing bubbling up inside of her. She speed walked through the parking lot, decidedly not looking at anyone, and got into her car.

_Man, if Shawnda's pitying me, I must be in a fucking state!_

xxxxxxx

The hair salon next door to the Quik-mart wasn't the most popular place in the world, but it had a good few repeat customers that kept it in business. Right now, one of those customers, a brunette in a yellow shirt, was being serviced in the chair nearest to the window. She sat there, idly drumming her fingers on the arm of the chair while the stylist chatted on and on, deep in a lengthy story about her son that would inevitably end with her trying to set her up for a date with him.

She glanced out the window, then did a double take. Mrs. P gently chided her for the sudden head movement, to which she mumbled an apology.

_Is that Elsa?_ she thought. _I had no idea she lived around here!_

It certainly looked like her – platinum blonde hair, that blue t-shirt she always wore – but what were the odds?

She was walking quickly, and appeared to be in a very bad mood. She threw her bag of groceries into her car, then got in and drove away.

_Damn, missed my chance._

It was a foolish thought, she knew. Even if she had sprinted outside the moment she saw her, she still probably wouldn't have been fast enough, and been left with only a half-done hairdo and an irritated Mrs. P. Plus, Elsa didn't seem to be in the mood for conversation. Nevertheless, she felt a sense of remorse for not trying it anyway. It had been so long…

"Is there a problem, miss?" Mrs. P. asked.

She snapped out of her reverie. "Oh, no problem," she said. "I just thought I saw an old friend, that's all."

"Oh, I see," the motherly woman replied. "Well, I'm sure you'll see them again soon. The weather's going to be nice all week long - they're sure to be out and about."

The girl laughed, somewhat bitterly. "Wanna bet?"


	5. Chapter 5: The nothing day

**Chapter five**

**The nothing day**

It was going to be a "stay in bed" day.

Elsa knew that from the moment she opened her eyes. Around the corners of her blinds, pinpricks of light poked through. She rolled onto her other side and drew the covers closer. She didn't bother checking her watch, but she was sure it would've shown a four-digit number.

She reached over to the bedside table, feeling around for the familiar shape of her phone. She finally grabbed it and yanked it free of its cord. It was at the lowest brightness setting, but Elsa still winced as the screen flashed on.

_I'll have to go to the welfare site today,_ she realized. But that was okay. She had discovered that she could reach over and grab her laptop without actually getting out of bed. She didn't feel the need to do it yet, her phone was suiting her just fine for now, but she would eventually.

_A quiet day. A peaceful day. A nothing day. _

_Whump_

She heard the soft noise as something jumped onto her bed, and she felt the mattress shift.

"Play with me," Anna said.

"W…what?" Elsa mumbled.

"Play with me," Anna repeated. "Please."

Elsa rolled over. "Not now, Anna," she said. "It's too early."

"No it's not," the cat countered. "The sun's already really high in the sky!"

Elsa didn't bother checking; she was probably right.

"I thought cats liked to sit around and do nothing all day," she muttered.

"Sometimes, yeah," Anna conceded. "But nobody can just sit around and do nothing forever!"

The double negative challenged what little processing power Elsa's half-asleep brain could muster. "Well, I can," she said. With that, she rolled into her belly and put a pillow over her head, hoping the matter was settled.

Anna jumped onto the bed, climbed on top of Elsa, and started kneading her back. "Play with meeeeeeeeee," she whined.

"All right, fine!" Elsa shouted. She turned around and tried to swat Anna with the pillow, but she jumped out of the way in time. "Go grab that fishing pole thing from the box," Elsa said, pointing towards the living room, where the box, still full, sat.

Anna tilted her head. "Fishing pole?"

Elsa sighed. "The yellow stick, with the string and feathers on it."

"What does that have to do with fish?"

"It's…it's not important, okay?" Elsa said. "Just get it."

Anna nodded, then happily trotted away. Elsa rubbed her temples, sighing deeply.

_I swear, this cat is going to be the death of me._

xxxxxxx

Anna jumped. The feather leapt away from her. She jumped again. Once more, it eluded her.

Elsa lay on the bed, vaguely registering her cat's movements out of the corner of her eye. She waved the feathered toy with her left hand, her sweeping movements like a conductor waving a baton. Her right hand, eyes, and the lion's share of her attention were fixed on her phone.

Anna looked up at her. "Are you texting someone again?"

"Nope," Elsa said, not shifting her attention. "I'm browsing my news feed."

Once again, Anna was confused. "Feed? It feeds you?"

"You ask a lot of questions, don't you," Elsa replied.

"Yes, I do," Anna answered, clearly not understanding the rhetorical nature of Elsa's question.

"Well, yes, it is called a feed. But it feeds your eyes, not your mouth. All you have to do is keep scrolling, and a constant stream of news rolls in. Some politician lied – as per fucking usual. Two countries in the Middle East disagree on which side you should butter your bread or something. One sports team beat another sports team."

She kept waving the toy around, but Anna seemed to have lost interest in it. "You care about all of those things?"

"I didn't say that."

"Well, if you don't care, why do you feed yourself all that news?"

Elsa looked up from her phone. "What are you," she said irritably, "a psychiatrist or something?" Anna opened her mouth. "Don't answer that."

"Okay," Anna said. She sounded confused and dejected at the same time. Elsa felt a pang of guilt in her chest.

_Way to go, Elsa. Once again, you've managed to hurt her feelings without her having a clue why. You seem to be very good at doing that. It must come from practice._

Elsa shook her head, trying to shut the voice up. She looked around the room, trying to find something else to think about. Of course, Anna was basically the only interesting thing in the room, so she just ended up looking back at her, seeing her clearly for the first time that morning.

Her hair was sticking out in various directions, and her outfit was rumpled. Obviously, that part wasn't real, but Elsa picked up on the significance of it.

"Geez, Anna, how'd your fur get all messed up like that?"

Anna shrugged. "I don't know. It just kind of…happens, I guess."

"Would you like me to brush your hair?" Elsa asked, seeing a chance at redemption.

Anna's eyes widened immediately. "Yes!" she shouted, jumping up and down. "I'd love it, love it, love it!"

"All right, then bring me one of the brushes."

Anna stopped jumping. "Those brushes are too heavy for me to carry, Elsa," she said.

"What, really?"

Anna nodded.

It wasn't too unreasonable a claim. They were both good brushes, with wooden handles, and would be a lot harder for a cat to carry in its mouth than a small plastic rod. On the other hand, that meant that she'd have to get out of bed. And walk all the way over to the living room.

For a moment, she seriously considered telling Anna to forget about it. But Anna was staring right at her with those big, round eyes. And she'd been so excited…

She sighed. "Fine," she said, throwing back the covers. "I'll go get it."

Anna thanked her profusely as she made her way to the living room. As she did, however, the voice returned, unbidden.

_Living room, you call it? Well, that's not really true at all. That room behind you, with the bed and the computer – that's your living room, isn't it?_

She tried to ignore the voice. She failed.

_'I'd love it,' she said. Real passionately, too. When was the last time you cared about anything enough to say that you 'loved' it?_

She picked up the brush, then turned to make the long journey back to the bed. Anna, however, had followed her out of the bedroom.

"I'll brush you on the couch, okay?" Elsa said.

"Okay!" Anna responded.

The voice seemed to have said its piece – for now, anyway – and was silent. Which was good, because she couldn't think of an answer to it.

_I much prefer Anna's questions._

xxxxxxx

_This isn't weird,_ Elsa thought to herself. _This is in no way weird._

Anna was in her lap, eyes closed and looking very content. Well, her head was in her lap, anyway, but Elsa figured that this meant, in reality, that the cat was fully in her lap.

Slowly, Elsa drew the brush through her hair in long, identical strokes. Anna wasn't saying anything, which left Elsa free to listen to her own heartbeat, thundering at a million beats per minute and apparently sending 90% of her blood straight to her face.

The purring was the worst part of it. Obviously, cats purred when they were happy, but seeing a very human face in her lap, feeling her body heat, and knowing she was the source of the vibrations made Elsa feel just a bit…flustered. The fact that she hadn't yet put pants on did not help the situation.

She tried to push the naughty thoughts from her mind. _It's not weird, I'm just overthinking it,_ she told herself. _Even if she was a human, it wouldn't be weird. Girls brush each other's hair all the time, it doesn't mean anything._

Then Anna started kneading Elsa's thigh with her hands.

_Okay, now it's weird._

Her heart, which had already been beating fast, now accelerated even further. Her hands started trembling, to the point that she was sure Anna would notice.

This was very much not normal, especially for her. Only one girl had ever touched her in that manner before, and she was-

_ELSA VANDERIJST, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?_

Elsa froze. All the warmth in her cheeks drained away in an instant, and her breath caught in her throat.

It wasn't her voice this time. It was _his._

Anna, noticing that she had stopped brushing, looked up at her. "Are you okay, Elsa?" she asked worriedly.

Elsa shook her head clear. "Yes, I am. Just…just…give me a few seconds, okay?"

"Okay," Anna said. "One Mississippi, two Mississippi-"

"Not literally," Elsa said as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

This interjection from Anna, in addition to somewhat deflating the tension in the room, helped bring a few things into sharp relief.

_What am I doing? I'm literally getting aroused by my cat, that's what I'm doing. Even if she was a human, she still has a childlike – no, an infantile mind!_

What had Kristoff had said about her situation? Some people would consider it a dream come true?

_Well, this isn't a hentai doujinshi, this is my fucking life, and if I'm at the point where my cat is seriously turning me on, I must be in an even worse situation than he-_

_Ding_

The sound of the text made them both jump. Literally, in Anna's case – she shot out of Elsa's lap and landed on the floor. Elsa felt a sharp pain in her leg, and looked down to see a long scratch on her thigh. She glared at Anna.

"Sorry," Anna said. "I got scared."

_Well, maybe that'll put a damper on your desire to screw her, at least,_ her voice sneered.

She ignored it, and looked at her phone.

_Hi, Elsa, it's mom again. Sorry to bother you, but could you please send me a few pictures of Anna? For the scrapbook, of course._

"You don't have to tell me it's you every time, mom," Elsa muttered. "I know your phone number."

Of course she wanted pictures. That woman often seemed to do nothing but scrapbook in her free time. But there was no harm in indulging her. It might help take her mind off…whatever had just been going on.

She closed the text. "Hey, Anna," she said. "Do you want to take some pictures for my mom?"

"Sure!" Anna said enthusiastically. "That sounds like fun!"

"All right," Elsa said. She stood up. "Let's go to the living room. If she sees my bed in the photos, she'll tell me to make it, and I don't need to have that argument again."

"Okay," Anna said, clearly not understanding but following along regardless.

In the living room, Elsa motioned for her to jump up onto the sofa.

"Okay," she said, pointing her phone at the cat. "For this first picture, just…I don't know, act normal. Neutral expression."

Anna thought for a moment. "Okay," she said.

She plopped down onto the couch and sat there, totally rigid, with her eyes pointed straight ahead, and her mouth a perfectly flat line.

Elsa snickered. "Sure, that works, I guess." She snapped the picture. "Okay, for this next one, maybe relax a bit."

Immediately, Anna rolled over so that she was lying flat on her back. Her arms and legs splayed out to either side of her, and her head lolled. A strand of drool fell out of the corner of her mouth.

Elsa giggled as she took the picture. "Perfect," she said. "Next, I guess, just look happy."

Anna spun around again, leaping to her feet. Her eyes opened wide, and she sprouted a massive grin, mouth open so wide it looked like her upper jaw had come unhinged.

Elsa was unable to contain herself anymore, and she broke out into laughter. "Knock it off," she said breathlessly. "You're killing me!"

Anna's cheesy smile faded, and she tilted her head. "Is that…a good thing?"

"Yes," Elsa said. "I'll explain later. For this next pic…just go nuts."

Anna obliged. She started running around in circles, reaching her limbs out in random directions and just generally spazzing out.

Elsa had to take two pictures that time, as her hands were shaking too hard from laughter the first time. "Okay, now do the 'nyah' thing."

Anna stopped her impression of a lunatic instantly. "What's nyah?"

Elsa demonstrated.

"Oh. Nyah!" Anna said.

"Beautiful," Elsa said. She thought for a moment. "Hmm, she'll probably want some with me in them." She flipped the camera around, thinking of what to do.

_Hmm, I don't think I could keep a straight face in these pictures, after all that. But if I give her a big smile, I know that pic's gonna end up on all the Christmas cards._

She settled for a smirk, but as she snapped picture after picture, she found it harder and harder to resist cracking some silly faces, especially with the goofball behind her. By the time she took the last picture – number twenty-something – she was giggling almost incessantly.

"Okay, I think that's enough," Elsa said as she sent the pictures to her mother. "Great job, Anna."

"Thanks!" Anna said. "You know, you have a really nice laugh."

Elsa chuckled. "Don't get used to it," she said. "It doesn't come out often."

_Thanks, Elsa, these are great! _her mom wrote. _Love you bunches!_

_You're welcome,_ Elsa responded.

_Okay, so that was fun,_ she thought. _Way more fun than I thought it would be. I haven't had that much fun since…_

Her smile faded. Since her. There were a lot of things she hadn't felt since…her.

_Fuck, I _really_ need a new girlfriend._


End file.
